Story of my life by Helen Keller Chapter 3
Meanwhile, the desire to express myself grew the few signs I used became less and less adequate and my failures to make myself understood were invariably
followed by outbursts of passion I felt as if invisible hands were holding me and I made frantic efforts to free myself i struggled not that struggling helped matters but the spirit of resistance was strong within me i generally broke down in tears and physical exhaustion if my mother happened to be in here I crept into her arms too miserable even to remember the cause of the tempest after a while the need for some means of communication became so urgent that these outbursts occurred daily sometimes hourly my parents were deeply grieved and perplexed we lived a long way from any school for the blind or the deaf and it seemed unlikely that anyone would come to such an out-of-the-way place as tuscumbia to teach a child who was both deaf and blind indeed my friends and relatives sometimes doubted as to whether I could be taught my mother's only rare hope came from dickens's american notes she had read his account at laura bridgeman and remembered vaguely that she was deaf and blind and yet had been educated but she also remembered with a hopeless pain that dr howell who had discovered the way to teach the deaf and blind had been dead for many years his methods had probably died with him and if they had not I was a little girl in a flower of town in alabama to receive the benefit of them when I was about six years old my father heard of an eminent oculus in Baltimore who had been successful in many cases that it seemed hopeless my parents at once determined to take me to baltimore to see if anything could be done for my eyes the journey which I remember well was very pleasant i made friends with many people on the train one lady gave me a box of shells my father made holes in these so that I could string them and for a long time they kept me happy and contented the conductor too was kind of when he went his rounds i clung to his coattails while he collected and punched the tickets his punch which he let me play was a delightful toy curled up in a corner of the seat I amused me for hours making funny little holes in bits of cardboard my aunt made me a big doll out of towels it was the most comical shapeless thing this improvised doll with no nose mouth ears or eyes nothing that even the imagination of a child could convert into a face curiously enough the absence of ice struck me more than all the other defects put together i pointed this out to everybody with provoking persistency but no one seemed equal to the task of providing the doll with eyes a bright idea however shot into my mind and the problem was solved I tumbled off the seat and searched under it.
Until I found my aunt's cape which was trimmed with large beads i pulled two beads off and indicated to her that I wanted to sew them on my doll she raised my hand to her eyes in a questioning way and I nodded nodded energetically the beads were sewed in the right place and I could not contain myself for joy but immediately I lost all interest in the doll during the trip I did not have one fit of temper there were so many things to keep my mind and fingers busy when we arrived in baltimore dr chisholm received us kindly but he could do nothing he said however that I could be educated and advised my father to consult dr alexander graham bell of Washington who would be able to give him some information about schools and teachers of deaf or blind children acting on the doctor's advice we went immediately to washington to see dr bill my father with a sad heart and many misgivings i wholly unconscious of his anguish finding pleasure in the excitement of moving from place to place child as I was i at once felt the tenderness and sympathy endeavored dr bell to so many hearts as his wonderful achievements enlist their admiration he held me on his knee while I examined his watch and he made it strike for me he understood my signs and I knew it and loved him at once but I did not dream that that interview would be the door through which I would pass from darkness into the light from isolation to friendship companionship knowledge and Dr Bill advised my father to write to Mr Anagnos director of the Perkins institution in Boston the scene of doctor howe's great labors for the blind and asked him if he had a teacher competent to begin my education this, my father, did it once and in a few weeks there came to a kind letter from Mr ronagnos with comforting assurance that a teacher had been found this was in the summer of 1886 but miss sullivan did not arrive until the following march thus I came out of egypt and stood before sinai and a power divine touched my spirit and gave it sight so that I beheld many wonders and from the sacred mountain I heard a voice which said knowledge is love and light and vision.
(End of Chapter.)
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