The story of my life by Helen Keller (chp#4)

 Story of my life by Helen Keller chapter four                                   

                 The most important day I remember in all my life is the one in which my teacher and Mansfield Sullivan came to me I am filled with wonder when I consider the

immeasurable contrast between the two lives which it connects it was the third of march 1887 three months before I was seven years old on the afternoon of that eventful day I stood on the porch dumb expectant i guessed vaguely from my mother's sides and from her hurrying to and fro in the house that something unusual was about to happen so I went to the door and waited on the steps the afternoon sun penetrated the massive honeysuckle that covered the porch and fell on my upturned face my fingers lingered almost unconsciously on the familiar leaves and blossoms which had just come forth to greet the sweet southern spring did not know that the future held on marble or surprise for me anger and bitterness had preyed on me continually for weeks and a deep language had succeeded this passionate struggle have you ever been at sea in a dense fog when it seemed as if tangible white darkness shut you in and the great ship tense and anxious wrote away toward the shore with plummet and sounding mind and you waited with beating heart for something to happen i was like that ship before my education began only I was without compass or sounding light and had no way of knowing how near the harbor was light gives me light as a wordless cry of my soul and the light of love shone on me in that very hour i felt approaching the steps i stretched out my hand as I supposed to my mother someone took it and I was caught up and held close in the arms of her who had come to reveal all things to me and more than all things else to love me the morning after my teacher came she led me into her room and gave me a doll the little blind children at the perkins institution had sent it and laura bridgeman had dressed it but I did not know this until afterward when I had played with it a little while Miss Sullivan slowly spelt into my hand the word d-o-l-l (doll) i was at once interested in this finger play and tried to imitate it when I finally succeeded in making the letters correctly I was flushed with childish pleasure and pride running downstairs to my mother I held up my hand and made the letters for doll i did not know that I was spelling a word or even that words existed i was simply making my fingers go in a monkey-like imitation in the days that followed I learned to spell in this uncomprehending way a great many words among them pin hat cup and a few verbs like sit stand and walk but my teacher had been with me several weeks before I understood that everything has a name one day while I was playing with my new doll Sullivan put my big rag doll into my lap also spelled d-o-l-l (doll) and tried to make me understand that doll applied to both earlier in the day we had had a tussle over the words mug and water Miss Sullivan had tried to impress upon me that m-u-g is a (mug) and that w-a-t-e-r is (water) but I persisted in confounding the two in despair, she dropped the subject for at the time only to renew it at the first opportunity i became impatient at her repeated attempts and seizing the new doll I dashed it upon the floor I was keenly delighted when I felt the fragments of the broken doll at my feet neither sorrow nor regret followed my passionate outburst I had not loved the doll in the still dark world in which I lived there was no strong sentiment or tenderness i felt my teachers sweep the fragments to one side of the hearth and I had a sense of satisfaction that the cause of my discomfort was removed she brought me my hat and I knew I was going outside into the warm sunshine.

 this thought if a wordless sensation may be called a thought made me hop and skip with pleasure walked down the path to the good house attracted by the fragrance of the honeysuckle with which it was covered someone was drawing water and my teacher placed my hand under the spout as the cool stream gushed over one hand she spelled into the other the word water first slowly then rapidly i stood still my whole attention fixed upon the motions of her fingers suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten a thrill of returning thought and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me i knew then that w a t e r meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand that living world awakened my soul gave it light hope joy set it free there were barriers still it is true but barriers could in time be swept away i left the good house eager to learn everything had a name and each name gave birth to a new thought as we returned to the house every object which I touched seemed to quiver with life that was because I saw everything with the strange new sight that had come to me on entering the door I remembered the doll I had broken i felt my way to the hearth and picked up the pieces i tried vainly to put them together then my eyes filled with tears for I realized what I had done and for the first time I felt repentance and sorrow i learned to grate many new words that day I do not remember what they all were but I do know that mother father sister teacher was among them words that were to make the world blossom for me like aaron's rod with flowers it would have been difficult to find a happier child than I was as I lay in my crib at the close of that eventful day and lived over the joys.

                                                         ( End of Chapter )